BookRix

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That would be pretty terrifying, being eternal yet invisible. I wonder if that's how God feels, lol. Good job. :)

Yeah, I know. I am thanking people too much. (Is that possible?)

By now I've doubted myself so much, and I was utterly confused at the fact that this is getting so many comments. (OK, to some of you, this isn't a lot.)By now, I'm also definitely planning on lengthening it into a full STORY. I'm not sure when, so . . . don't expect it to be soon.

THANK YOU! (I'm saying it so much the word "thank" is starting to look and sound weird.)

Though it's more a short essay than a story, it is quite good. A combination of honesty and despair make this a powerful and surprisingly eerie piece.

I really like your idea. Living like a ghost, without the world noticing you. It really is a great fear.

The only suggestion I could give you is to try to organize your ideas within the text a bit better, clearer. For me, it was a bit all over the place. Maybe its just me.

Good job

I get too sentimental and think too deeply--which is why I usually finish last when writing for school. About the fear thing, most people said something like "spiders", so when I came up with this, everyone just stared at me for a while. Nothing traumatic ever happened to me; I just thought really hard, wanting my answer to be something more unique. I appreciate the comments more than you'll ever know!

Wow... as a mom I just want to give you a hug and say your not lost. This is haunting and is close to a poem. I would love to see you put such strong feelings in poem form. Let me know if you ever try it, I'd love to read it.

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my book. I was thinking about how short it is; if I decide to lengthen it, maybe this could be the first page? Thank you again!

There is for most people a fear of death. This is a prospective very few people ever think about.

Very well written. It gives us something to think about.

Good luck in the contest.

people live forever, but there are those who are invisible to the world. They are the outcasts, the beggars in the street, ignored by people as they ask for some food or money.

There are those who close in on themselves and people shun them for their inability to fit in.

It is scary to be left alone, to be invisible like you mentioned. And to have that curse and live forever, that would be torture.

Nice story, although it could be longer. You could explain what you did to have that curse and use more descriptions to lenghten it a bit more.