BookRix

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Chapter one has been updated

hey everyone i appreciate all of your feed back and i want you guys to know that this book is not done and still in progress

Wow, I liked this book, but it was way to short. Just as it got interesting, the book was over.

Wow. This book is just...wow.

Okay,you have a story but don't seem like you know how to tell it. I read this book and I read it in a voice that I can explain as a teenager telling her group of friends the story line to this good movie,relying wholly on reported speech. That's not good.

You left out some important info like what poison was the character given? There is a way you can explain it without giving everything away. You also need to proof read.

I also felt like you had so many ideas and feared that they would evaporate maybe. You could have scribbled them somewhere then built your story. It would have acted like a skeleton while adding detail and build would have been the flesh. Your current story lacks a good grounding or support. If you wish,this book could be a serious investment that would flourish depending on the effort you put in. After all, GIGO right?

I am very pleased that you thought it was funny. let me know if i should make it into a series thanks again

why because it is a little bite funny.