This was such an enchanting tale. It has a lovely, captivating, old-world feel to it and it drew me right in. Your words are so eloquently written. Your descriptions are richly vivid. The ghost seems admirable and I loved his code. What a clever idea!
I also liked the detective and the beggar teaming up together. They did a nice job solving the riddle. The story ended with a very satisfying conclusion. I hope you write more... Show more
It was meant to be a little more funny than creepy. And about the ending, I didn't have enough time because I started writing the story at 8pm and the contest ended 12am, so I just quickly wrote an ending without actually thinking about it.
When I have time to edit this, I'll make sure to keep the things you said in mind! Thanks bookzilla!
it's more funny than creepy though, is that what you meant to do?
if not, try adding more descriptive imagery of the scary manor and the creepy things that are happening.
and the ending is kind of a let down - can't the ghost confront them and scare them first or something?
this is a good story, but there are a few things you could improve!