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Ayodele Ajileye The Roots and the Fruits

Understanding Human Behaviors

Self-Help
English
46907 Words
Ages 16 and up
46
0

Don’t judge me that I hate my daughter, she reminds me of my mother who collected money from her mate to defile me. Don’t judge me that I’m not sound academically, every sound keeps me awake at night with the fear that it’s not another fight between my parents. Don’t judge me that I sleep in school, my brother never allows me to sleep at night because he is homosexual. Don’t judge me that I had sex with him, he was going to sack my husband from work if I do not. Don’t judge me that I patronize prostitutes, my wife also demands for money before or after sex and she holds back if I don’t give her. Don’t judge me that I’m homosexual, I don’t even know how to be a man. Don’t judge me that I divorced him, you see him as a sparkling white angel but I always see a seven-horned devil. Don’t judge me that I’m always out of the house, my home is hell. Don’t judge me that I don’t regard my in-laws, my spouse has not left them to cleave to me. Don’t judge me that I don’t want to marry, I don’t want to be the kind of wife to any man that my mother was to my father. Don’t judge me that I kept it secret, my love ones did not believe me when I told them. Don’t judge me that I talk too much, I’m scared of the pictures that silence brings back to my mind. Don’t judge me that I have this bad habit, I really want to stop it, and Ive tried, but it overpowers me. Don’t judge me that I attempted suicide, nothing seems to make sense anymore, its the end and I’d rather end it myself now than wake for someday. Don’t judge me that I’m too quiet, nobody listens to me. Don’t judge me that I’m promiscuous, isn’t sex what we are made for?! Don’t judge me that I’m a lesbian, men irritate me because of my experience with my father. Don’t judge me that I don’t love or trust, I don’t even know what they mean because I never experienced them. Don’t judge me that I’m gullible, I’ve always been called “stupid”. Don’t judge me that I don’t like my brother, he stole my mother’s love from me. Don’t judge me that left her, you’ve only heard too little of the whole story and she is playing the victim. Don’t judge me, you don’t know my story. This book explains the roots of human psychology, and reveals how human can be managed, even dysfunctional ones. [more]

Keywords: Psychology, therapy, family, relationship, media, fashion, religion, finance, money, education, entertainment, personality disorder, abuse, domestic violence, stress, emotional wellness, self-esteem, temperament, personality type, codependency, human psychology [more][Less]

$4.99

Richard Dante (Hardaway) FOLLOW THE LEADER

N/A

Romance
English
2 Words
Ages 18 and up
137
4

FOLLOW THE LEADER by Richard Dante, 70,055 words SYNOPSIS Please keep in mind this emotion charged gay novel is set in the 1960s and 70s, the Vietnam War/ Harvey Milk years, when being gay was more dangerous than it is today. Following graduation from Santa Barbara High School with the class of ‘65, Danny Armaugh and Rob Olsen discover their lifelong friendship has escalated to something far more than brotherly love. Fear of rejection prevents them from confessing their true feeling s for one another. At first, Danny suppressed his own homosexuality, while Rob masked his sexual preference in the guise of a macho ladies’ man. Following Danny's disturbing self discovery, Rob takes off for his summer job at Yosemite. Stuck at home and believing Rob is straight, Danny decides to substitute nightly fantasies for the real thing. Months later, Rob confesses his own love for Danny. During the joyful two year affair that follows, Danny develops his extraordinary musical talents. After graduating from Santa Barbara Junior College, at the the height of the Vietnam war, Rob is drafted, and Danny goes on to UC Berkeley. While on Christmas leave in San Francisco, Rob and Danny are joined in a riotous wedding ceremony. A year after Rob is shipped out to Vietnam, Danny has a horrific nightmare in which he finds Rob's body on the battlefield. Actually Rob is not killed, but wounded in action. Ironically, the Pentagon, attempting to boost public acceptance of their unpopular little war, turns the gay marine into a national hero. In Washington, the president presents him with the Medal of Honor, and back in Santa Barbara there is a triumphant home coming parade. Though temporarily paralyzed, the hero manages to be sexually active, and the two young men enjoy a passionate love life. Still in a wheelchair, the ex-marine accompanies Danny back to UC Berkeley to study psychology--with a specialty in homosexual trauma. Urged by Rob, his biggest fan, talented singer-composer Armaugh turns in a triumphant student performance, and is discovered by former child-actor-turned-talent-agent, Paul Connor. Following a successful audition and contract signing at an important record company in Los Angeles, Paul Connor treats his new protégé and Rob Olsen to dinner. There, the duo meet Connor's lover, the outwardly charming Ralph Noon, an important TV actor. While assisting wheelchair bound Olsen to the men's room. Noon reveals his paranoid tendencies. Suspicious of Danny and Paul Connor's new business relationship, he advises Rob to warn Danny there'll be trouble if he tries to steal Paul from him. The agent successfully steers Danny into an international career. Awed by the power of his uplifting message, the nation takes him to its heart and makes him a modern folk hero During a world tour, Danny and his entourage stop in apartheid dominated South Africa. The whites refuse to sell tickets to the blacks and the singer decides to perform only for the native tribes. The Armaugh troupe puts on a rousing show for thousands of natives in a natural amphitheater outside Johannesburg. The Armaugh group is hailed as heroes by the “nonwhites” and condemned by the rejected “whites” who expel Danny and his troop from their country with the warning never to return. Following a recording session, Paul confesses he's afraid of Ralph Noon, who has threatened to kill him if he strays. Danny invites the agent to move in with them for safety While Danny is in a recording session. Paul arrives to at Danny and Rob's home, and in a jealous rage Ralph Noon shoots Paul. Noon is arrested for attempted murder while Dan and Rob rush to the hospital. The surgeon holds out little hope for Paul's survival. While awaiting the outcome, country singer, Arnie Armor, another of Paul's clients, joins them. After the trio spends an all night vigil they are told the agent is out of danger. Months later, Ralph Noon is brought to trial. With Rob, Danny, a recovering Paul Connor, and Noon family members witnesses, the TV actor is convicted and locked away in a mental facility. Romance blooms between the country singer, Armor, and his agent, though, like much of Danny's public, Paul harbors some romantic feelings for Danny As Paul recovers, Danny decides to join Paul and Rob in their fight for gay rights. When he comes out publicly on TV’s MEET THE PRESS, many of Danny's fans turn against him. Undaunted, he joins the leadership of the gay rights movement, and helps pave the way for important legislation. Danny, Rob and Paul travel the country advocating equality for gays. Against everyone's advice Danny elects to speak at a major labor union convention in Dallas. On the steps of the convention center he's met by Bobby Joe Stark, a leader of the bible belt bigots. In an informal debate covered by TV news, Danny makes a fool of the Baptist minister. Inside the Dallas convention hall, the union members refuse to listen to Danny’s pleas for equality, and boo him off the stage. During the uproar, a shot rings out. Danny is wounded by a young closeted gay who's confused love with hate. The wound is minor and psychologist Rob convinces the would be assassin all is not as grim as it seems. Persevering, the Armaugh trio continue working with the country's gay rights leaders. The novel draws to a joyous close with a celebration of the California legislature’s passage of the “Consenting Adults” Bill AB489, and it is signed into law by California’s then Governor Jerry Brown. There is a group wedding ceremony in which Rob and Danny renew their vows and along with others, Paul Connor and Arnie Armors' union is also blessed. NOTE: Considerable research went into the writing, and I believe it is historically and psychologically correct. There are some explicit love scenes, but I don't consider them pornographic. I believe this is a "mainstream" novel with some erotic passages. [more]

Keywords: m/m, Gay Romance, historical, Vietnam War

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A S, A S Checkmate

CM

Erotic
English
531 Words
Ages 16 and up
566
2

Snow I could feel the cold biting into my skin, but I couldn't stop here. I don't even remember what my purpose is anymore. But I continued to drag my feet into the snow with my already frozen boots. Suddenly I felt my head ache but before I could do anything about it, my eyes rolled back then everything went blank. My eyes throw wide open while I took a deep breath in. I sat up straight then suddenly everything around me began to spin. I ignored it and squinted my eyes. How did I end up in a hospital. I slowly pushed myself off the bed and held onto the bed frame as my legs gave up on me. Suddenly I heard footsteps heading towards my way. They sounded heavy, giving me the chills. I groaned and headed to the counter. I scattered every piece of items until I found a small knife. I graded it and hid it behind my back. Suddenly I felt their presence behind me, causing me to turn around quickly. I held in my breath as I stared at the man in front of me. "Oh my, did you come here to try and kill me again, love." He said with his usual deep voice," Or should I remind you, how bad you failed at that? Should I remind you how you ended up under me, begging and screaming my name all night long." I groaned and pointed the knife to him. I will not let him near me again. "I hate you." I said He smiled and said," But your body told me otherwise and I'm sure it will still tell me otherwise." I rolled my eyes and said," It was a mistake." How could I accept that I slept with someone as brutal and evil as him. He took a step closer to me and I held the knife tight. Suddenly he held the knife and guided it to way his heart is. We kept eye contact while he guided the knife to his heart. I inhaled and exhaled. "This is your last chance, love." He said," if you don't do it now, you will never get rid of me." I bit my lip and stared down at my now trembling hands. I had never killed a person before but was this worth it. Yes. " Just do it, love." He said," I already have everything sorted out for you and our unborn child." I dropped the knife as he caught me off guard. "How-how did you know?" I asked He took a step closer, towelling over me. "I have my ways." He said I backed up but there was no where for me to back up as my back hit the counter behind me. " It's all your fault." I said He placed his hand on the counter next to me. "How's it my fault, Huh?" He asked," Didn't we both enjoy it." "You can deny it all you want." He said," But you will always be mine, Marian." [more]

Keywords: Love, sex, pregnancy, revenge, hatred, mafia

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Kristjan Knall Fuck Berlin

A Not-Guide

Travel
English
76795 Words
Ages 16 and up
54
0

I am really sorry you live in Grimsby, the banlieue of Lyon, Podgorica or some other bumfuck nowhere. Which, at least from here in Berlin, is pretty much anywhere in the world. But guess what, Berlin is not a single fuck better. Actually, it's a shithole of epic proportions. Don't believe the hype, or you are going to be the fuckwit of the month. You won't earn money here, you won't have fun, in spite of the tons of drugs you will be taking, you will not meet your partner, soul-companion, no real friends, or even people who won't fuck you over at any given opportunity. You will be left as a bloated, syringe mark riddled corpse on the sidewalk best ignored, but most likely be pissed on by Berliners. And they won't even be drunk. Now, don't get me wrong. This is not another racist pamphlet. They usually don't work out well in Germany. If anything, it's racist against Germans, and specifically, against Berliners. Thinking is the most unhealthy disease in the world, and people die of it just as they die of any disease. Luckily, in Berlin at any rate, thought is not catching. The fact is, they are the scum of the earth. If you stay here long enough, you will be too. 12 years, to be exact, and in Germany everything is exact. The reason? Don’t ask, you traitorous pig. Just follow orders. How it got that way, is a bit of a mystery. An ugly, chaotic, but at times absurdly funny mystery. So, if there's any way you can be diverted from coming here, or at least don't want to fall that hard, read on and see what an admitted asshole Berliner has to say. What’s more, do you hate guide books? Good, because they are shit, unless you want to cue for hours at a fucking museum with thousands of people. Why is it that we always go to exhibitions, museums, historic sites and other crap that we wouldn’t even give a firstt glance at home? Because we are bored, we don’t know what to do, and where. So here is all the info you need to go to the dark corners, enjoy abject eccentricity, and get smashed like there is no tomorrow. I’ve written a shitload of books about Berlin and way too often stammering twats come along and ask for an English version, while getting his purse nicked by a friend of mine. Don’t you get insulted enough? So, yeah, as we’re all so fucking international, here you have it, all unfiltered, all way too real. Oh, and be prepared to lose all your cushy illusions through vicious thoughts and obscenely strong language, you whiny little cunt. Warum also soll man sich mit einem weiteren dieser Autoren treffen? Zumal der Verlag auch nochselbst davor warnt.“ - Der Tagesspiegel, 19.3.2013. „Fast durchgängige Meinung: Kristjan Knall hat einen Knall.“ - Berliner Kurier, 19.2.2013 „Vieles an Knalls Beschreibungen ist maßlos übertrieben und landet oft unter der Gürtelline.“ - Berliner Morgenpost, 24.3.16. „Dass er in der Verkleidung wie eine jüngere Ausgabe von Helge Schneider wirkt, war ihm nicht bewusst, ist ihm aber recht.“ - Süddeutsche Zeitung, 28.11.14 „Im Online-Auftritt des Berliner Kuriers hinterlässt ein Leser am 18. Februar in der Kommentarspalte hinter dem Bericht über die Flaggenverbrennung folgende Nachricht: „Für den Vogel sollten wir Berliner sammeln, um ihm ein Ticket nach Russland zu spendieren, am besten dorthin, wo der Meteorit runtergekommen ist. Oder an die Elfenbeinküste, da kann er ja dann die Menschen weiter beleidigen. Mal sehen, was die dann mit ihm machen.“ - Cicero, 20.6.2013 Weiteres vom Meister des Abfucks: Berlin zum Abkacken. Eulenspiegel, 2013111 Gründe Berlin zu hassen. Schwarzkopf, 2016 Stoppt die Klugscheißer!. Eulenspiegel, 2013 Europa ist geil, nur hier nicht. Eulenspiegel 2014 Edition Umsonst: Fuck Berlin - A Not-Guide, 2022 Wir Lügner – wie Google uns uns entlarvt, Bookrix, 2017 Als Mehmet Yildiz: Neukölln, ein Frontbericht. Bookrix, 2017 IS-Idioten – was mal gesagt werden muss, Bookrix, 2017 Hassfick - Pick-Up Artists, Tinder, Liebe und Hass. Bookrix, 2016 Land ohne Eigenschaften - Eine Reise durch Dunkeldeutschland. Bookrix, 2016 Berliner Armee Fraktion - Der Kampf beginnt. Bookrix, 2016 Fuck Trump - Sind die Amis wirklich so bescheuert? Bookrix, 2015 Fake News – Zu schräg, um wahr zu sein?, Bookrix, 2015 Shitstorm - Der letzte Thriller. Bookrix, 2015 https://twitter.com/Kristjan_Knall https://www.facebook.com/dakristjanknall/ dakristjanknall@gmx.net [more]

Keywords: Berlin, fuck, travel, art, punk, gender, kreuzberg, neukölln, tourist, club, bar, reise, döner, hostel, hotel, berghain, nazi, westberlin, drogen, festival, mafia, alkohol, esoterik, hispter, cafe, craft, kunst, satire, freidrichshain, mitte, wedding, schöneberg [more][Less]

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Saniul Alom Sun She Made For Me

Fantasy
English
2349 Words
Ages 14 and up
35
0

Shuvro Ashfa entered through the gate and stopped the car. The rider came running and looked surprised. A smile appeared on the face of the rider as Mehrab was entering through the gate. Shuvro Ashfa stood in front of Meherab - There is no name for where he has been for so long. - Went to the village house. Dad was sick to see. Ashfa said - That's why you have to let me know Could you call once? - I left suddenly. Going to work in the field, the phone fell - for which I could not contact. As soon as the rider came, he grabbed Meherab by the hand and took him aside. Shuvro Ashfa was surprised. Limon Orin Kuhu came. Meherab is standing with his head bowed and fear is at work in his mind. Meherab said - Please don't hit me. I am coming to varsity to get clearance. I will leave and never set foot on the tri-boundary of this varsity. The rider grabbed Meherab's hand - You don't have to leave this varsity I'm really sorry. I made a mistake. I can't be forgiven. Mehrab was shocked to hear such words from the rider. He looked up at the rider and said yes. There is water in the corner of the rider's eye Who is Mehrab looking at? How could he have changed so much that only violence could be seen in his eyes? The rider said again - I know I have no forgiveness for this injustice. I can't forgive myself. Please forgive me. - What are you saying? Why are you apologizing to a famous boy like me? In fact, I am alive with a pair of foreheads No need to apologize. People just make mistakes. - You didn't forgive me. - He did it. Neha came and stood beside the rider - Where have you been all this time? How much am I looking for? You have news. Mehrab was surprised to hear about Neha. Said the rider - Neha, speak properly. - What happened to you again? We study in the same class, you can tell him. The heart came and grabbed Meherab - Dude, I'm sorry Excuse me. I have done a great wrong to you Don't be angry. Sorry dude. Mehrab became ha. The heart leaves Meherab - I'll be angry. Well, listen, I'm sitting up. The heart began to rise to the ears Mehrab stopped his heart - Are you crazy? What can be angry at a friend. - You're angry. Where have you been all this time? - In the village house. Said the rider -When you're done. I have a talk with Meherab. Everyone was surprised to hear the rider's words. A car entered the varsity. The rider grabbed Meherab's hand and got into the car. Mehrab got scared. Ashfa said to the rider - Where to go with him. - I need him. Absolutely. The car left the varsity. Kuhu said to Limon - The poor man's forehead is burning. - Do you know what? - What does the climber want to do? I searched like crazy for so long and took it again today. - I don't understand. Neha's heart looked at each other Then - The rider can't see Meherab with his eyes. Then all of a sudden today. -Yes. Well, the rider will not do anything to Meherab. - Why and what will he do? - You know him Don't think twice about killing someone. Ashfa told Shuvro - I think it's cloudy. - Yes, he is with me. No one at the varsity could see him. So how did everyone change so much these days. - There is a mystery. - I will not leave the person who will insult Meherab, whether it is a secret or not. The car came quite a distance. Meherab sits a little away from the car door - Look, I won't say anything about you. Please don't hit me. I will leave varsity. The rider smiled - Why are you so scared? I won't do anything to you. -Look, I'm telling you I'll leave this city and never come back. - Mehrab, but this time I will be angry. I want to talk to you privately. Don't be afraid The car came to a stop on the river bank. He got out of the car, lowered Meherab, went to the river bank and sat on the bench. Mehrab stands beside him. The rider looked at the arch -Sit down. Why are you standing? Mehrab panics. I wonder if he will throw me in the river this time. The rider looked at Meherab with an angry look - I'm telling you to sit down Silent boss here. Mehrab gets scared. Sit at a distance next to the rider. The rider is now smiling - This is my favorite place. It's nice to be here. But I live alone. But you know why I'm bringing you today. Mehrab looked at the rider's face. Meherab is having trouble recognizing the rider. There are many differences between the previous rider and the current rider. Mehrab had nothing like the violence inside the car that day. The rider blew the trumpet in front of Meherab's face - I misunderstood you and wanted to kill you. You're a really good boy You have nothing but how much you have done for people. I wanted to kill you without knowing it. He has to hate himself for it. Have you really forgiven me As soon as Meherab returned to the rider, his eyes widened The rider was knocked off the bench [more]

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