Hi,thanks for making your story 'Reality Heist' available.I do hope that you get around to finishing off the storyline(thats assuming it hasn't got the most abrubt ending ever!),please let me know if you do.

Ooooh! :)

Good script but could use a better more complet ending.

Love it ♥

Fun read. Looking forward to more.

As you asked, I read the first chapter. I think your friend was much more concerned than they needed to be. More action? Lord, I think you have just enough action there. Think of it as psychological action, not physical. Your protagonist is in emotional turmoil, experiencing events that she was created to prevent and trapped in a place where she cannot. It feels very real and very quickly plunges the reader into the story. I say leave it as is.

The only critique I have is your verb tenses. At times, you are in present tense. At other times, you switch to past tense. While it doesn't necessarily mess with the flow of the story, it might make it flow even better to choose one and stick to it. When writing in the present tense, such switches are common. Most people tell stories in the past tense, and that often slips out. :) (I've edited multiple stories, including my own, and it's more frequent than people realize. Simple fix, if you choose to fix it.)

Anyway, good luck! I think I might just continue reading. Very good first chapter.

(And as to the comment below, it's difficult to have dialogue without two people, hence the greek prefix of "dia." :) A story does not necessarily need dialogue to move forward. The ability to weave a solid intro without the crutch of dialogue shows strength within the writer. Dialogue, like personification or alliteration or foreshadow, is a tool to be wielded with precision when necessary, not used to bring the story forward. Then again, that might be my own personal opinion, since most of my stories begin with fairly little dialogue.)

On the 1st Chapter:

I say...1) Where are the dialogues? 2) Long paragraph so maybe you should break them up somehow.

I'll read more.

Your books are so unique and I love getting sucked into these strange worlds!

The dreams become the realities...I like the tension in the gradual realization. The twin towers, those poles with the platforms... I'm loving this, what a trip. Please write more.