Introduction

What exactly is love? That's a question I keep asking myself over and over again, and I still haven't found the answer.
Some people say, love is when a friend is there for you; when he or she listens to you, no matter what you're talking about. Others say love is butterflies and dizziness that makes one forget about the world and float away.
But here is what I think: as hard as we try to describe this kind of magic, nobody really knows what it actually is. We think we do, but if we knew it wouldn't be so mysterious to us. I, for my part, felt love all my life; and it wasn't just one kind, no, it's been lots of different kinds. I felt love receiving from my family. I felt love from being a friend, and I felt love from being a lover. And each one has been different in both positive and negative ways. I think that love is not only about being happy and joyful. I think that pain, tears and disappointment are also a big part of it.

In this book my poetry and my pictures are about all that. It is about the feeling of being loved as a child, a friend and a lover. There were ups and downs, but nothing made me stronger than the battle with love. This is what this book is about. And I hope I can reach not only the loved ones, but also the lonely ones, who are trying to find the answer to the question: What is love?

Please enjoy!

Yours sincerely, Ilona Hesse

Magic

Magic won't happen,
Unless you want it to.
Magic will show its face,
If you let it through.

Magic is here,
And everywhere;
Look into you heart
And you will find it there.

Give yourself a chance
To feel the magic within.
Give yourself the chance
And let it in.

You never know
When it'll happen again.
So let it happen now,
While you have the chance.

Stepping Out

Oh, shadow, let me go,
Let me go off of your hands,
Bring back the light
I used to see on the path.
Take away my fear,
And give me back my courage.

I need to step out,
Step out of your home;
It makes me weak,
It takes everything away from me.
Let me step out,
Just one more time,
And then keep your door closed,
Lock it with a chain.

I don't hate you,
I just can't need you
At this time of my life.
I shall return,
When the time is right;
When my thoughts are back.





Never Mind

There are a thousand words I want to say to you;
Words like "I care about you" and "I love you".
I"m about to open my mouth,
But my throat is dry,
And I think "Never mind"

I see you smile at me with these sparkles in your eyes,
And I wonder: have you ever seen a woman when she cries?
I'm about to say these words,
But I can't help keeping quiet,
Because I think "Never mind".

When you speak to me, I know there is no doubt,
It's great and interesting things we're talking about,
And yet it's not what I'd like to hear.
I'll just keep it to myself,
And think "Never mind".


Free

All my life I've been trying so hard to make everything right,
Nothing ever seems to come around,
Nothing ever seems right.

And yet I keep on walking on this road,
'Cause I've nowhere else to go;
I don't know where it's taking me,
I just keep on walking.

As I walk along people stare at me,
They don't care what I want,
What I feel, what I need.

I've been trying so hard to make everything right,
But I can't.
And still I'm going to keep on walking,
Till the end.

I just want to be free,
I just want to be free,
From the pain I feel.

Let's Walk Together

Let's walk together;
Through the darkness of the night,
Into the sunlight of the day.
Let's walk together;
Through the ugliness of hate,
Into the happiness of love.

Let's walk together;
Through the storm of the sea,
Into the sand of the beach.
Let's walk together;
Through the tears of our cries,
Into the laughter of our caress.

Let's walk together;
Through the burning fields of yesterday,
Into the blooming meadows of tomorrow.
Let's walk together;
Through the rain of our sorrows,
Into the sunshine of our joy.

Let's walk together;
Through the screams of silence,
Into the healing hands of music.
Let's walk together;
Through the ugliness of hate,
Into the happiness of love.

No One Like You

There's no one like you
Who can make me smile.
There's no one like you
Who can light up my sky.
There's no one like you
Who can hold my hand.
There's no one like you
Who leaves footprints in the sand.
There's no one like you
Who brings color to my life.
There's no one like you
Who stands by my side.
There's no one like you
Who tears my heart apart.
There's no one like you
Who takes away my heart.
There's no one like you
Who can make me cry all day long.
There's no one like you
Whose voice turns into a song.
There's no one like you
Who heals my broken heart.
There's no one like you
Who gives us another start.

Moments

Though they are
What our lives are made of,
They slip away
Like the soap in our hands,
They pop like balloons,
Melt like ice cream
If we leave it out in the sun.

We cannot keep them.
We cannot hold them tight.
They get carried away,
Like the wind carries away the clouds.
They disappear
As the sun goes down.

We remember them
As we remember our loved ones,
But in the end
They're only history, like the soap in our hands,
That slips away
And eventually dissolves.

Secret Love

People say it's hard to find
The one you really love,
But they never mention
How hard it is
To not love the one you found.

People say it's wrong to love
The one who's already taken,
But they don't know
That love has ways
We'll never be able to understand.

If You Don't Love Me

If you don't love me
Let me know before I go.
Tell me that it's not worthwhile;
A love that's never been there,
I was looking for it everywhere.

If you don't love me
Open the door and let me go.
Ignore those tears on my face.
My broken heart is about to fall.
It'll be broken once and for all.

If you don't love me
Just shut this door behind me,
And forget about the things I said.
Let me out into this world.
But let me have my dream;
About me being your girl.


Too Good To Be True

Sparkling eyes looking at her face,
A smile and a touch of his comforting embrace,
Emotions are flashing over,
Are so new,
But it's probably too good to be true.

Arms as strong as a wall.
He will catch her right now if she falls.
Thoughts are drifting away;
Neither one feels blue
But it's probably too good to be true.

His lips touch hers so gently,
She can't help but kiss him back intently.
Lying in his arms,
One hand she clings to.
But it's probably too good to be true.

In the shadow

I'm nothing but the fly
That hides behind your shadow.
The love I have for you is great;
As great as can be,
And you know.

But she, too, loves you,
And she does not need to hide,
For she is the one you chose;
The one you'd die for
Day and night.

When you wrap your arms
Around my chest and back,
I feel the warmth of your heart,
And the shadow
Hanging over me.

When you kiss me
So gently, tenderly and soft,
My world is Paradise,
And I forget all about
The shadow that I'm in.

Fight Between Heart And Mind

Listening to my heart,
And it tells me to stay.
Listening to my mind,
And it tells me to walk away.

Listening to my heart,
And it tells me to love.
Listening to my mind,
And it tells me to walk above.

Listening to my heart,
It tells me to cry for you.
Listening to my mind,
It tells me to be a friend for you.

I want to listen to my heart,
Because it makes me feel good.
But I need to listen to my mind,
Though it makes me feel blue..


Still Love You

It's hard for me to be happy,
When I see you smile,
It's difficult to laugh
When I see those sparkles in your eyes.

It hurts so deep inside,
That I have trouble to describe,
What I feel for you,
But you should know,
That I love you.

To see your heart jump for joy,
Makes my soul weak;
You are a part of me,
And yet I know that you're not.

It hurts so deep inside,
That I have trouble to describe,
What I feel for you,
But, before I go,
You should know,
I will always love you.

Goodbye

Now is the time for me to say Goodbye, my love
Think about the moments our lives are made of

No, please don't cry, my love, for me don't cry
Because you know
I've got to say Goodbye

Happy feelings is all that I want for you
Make your dreams come true; I know that you can, too

Now one more time, look me in the eye
Because you know
I've got to say Goodbye

Your Love

The sun is shining in my face,
The wind is running through my hair;
It's like there is nothing missing,
But being without you I can not bear!

The clouds are moving west,
And the sun is setting now,
I look across the river,
Hoping you will show.

My heart is aching deeply,
My eyes are going blind,
Wish you'd be here somewhere,
Standing right behind.

I need your love, I need your arms,
More than you will ever know.
I miss your kiss and tenderness,
I wonder why you let me go.
If I was able, I'd turn around,
And run back right to you.
The hopes I had, that we could be,
Are fading through and through.

I'm Sorry

I'm sorry
For loving you the way I do

I'm sorry
That all I want to kiss is you

I'm sorry
For leaving your heart in pain

I'm sorry
For letting you stand in the rain

I'm sorry
That our love is not meant to be

I'm sorry
For not being there to break you free

I'm sorry
For loving you the way I do

I'm sorry
That you love me the way I love you

Going To Sleep

I hear your voice and see your face.
And every time I do, I get those butterflies.
Feeling your touch is something special;
I drift away into the seven skies.

Lips as soft as rose petals,
And as sweet as a chocolate candy bar.
I can't help but kissing you.
If I was the sky, you'd be my only star.

Suddenly I lie awake,
My eyes starring at the ceiling.
I realize it was just a dream
Of memories and unforgettable feelings.

I cry a while to ease the pain;
The tears are the ones that console me.
The shadows in my room like ghosts;
Chasing my mind and not letting me sleep.

I never thought it would come this far,
Never thought we'd be this close.
And though they're nothing but memories,
I watch my love for you as it grows.

So I ask God why he chose you
To be the one I'd fall for.
He didn't answer and I don't know what to do.
I'd rather just walk out of that door.

I'd walk out of this door,
Chasing a love I know will never be.
But then I decide to just close my eyes,
Think of you and go to sleep.


You Took My Heart

You took my heart
And locked it in a cage,
You got rid if the key;
Simply turned the book's page.

I haven't seen my heart,
But I still feel its beat,
And the thought of loving you,
Makes my poor soul weak.

Looking at your picture;
Framed by my hands.
Not sure what to do,
Not sure of my plans.

Am thinking of you,
And my heart you took.
Please take care of it,
Give it a second look.

It's very breakable,
So keep it by your side,
Because I might need it again
At some point of my life.

Her Memory

She wanted your touch,
That's all, not too much.
Wanted to feel your caress,
Her mind was a complete mess.
She wanted nothing but love.
Seeing you just wasn't enough.
Her heart racing when you're near,
At night you haven't seen her tear;
She was crying for you,
It'll never be, she knew.

But then she felt your embrace,
And saw the passion in your face;
The world around just disappeared,
Now there was nothing she feared.
It was more than your touch,
And she wanted it so much.
Suddenly reality and dream world,
Emotions mercilessly unfurled.

Tonight she's lying awake,
She was crying ; her eyes ache.
Reality is playing a dreadful game,
She knows it'll never be the same,
Still the dreams she dreams
Are comforting it seems.
Well, they're not; you can not see,
And all she has left is the memory.

Forever

Forever I will love you,
No matter where you are,
Where I am.

Forever I'll think of you,
No matter what I do,
What I feel.

Forever I'll care about you,
No matter if you are happy,
If you're sad.

Forever I will need you,
No matter who I'm with,
If you're alone.

Forever I will miss you,
No matter where I am,
Where you are.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow
Is going to be better.
Tomorrow
Is going to be brighter.
Tomorrow
Is going to be joyful
Tomorrow
Is going to be peaceful.


Tomorrow
Is going to be cheerful.
Tomorrow
Is going to be lovely.
Tomorrow
Is going to be musical
Tomorrow
Is going to be calm.

Tomorrow
Is going to be happy.
Tomorrow
Is going to be sunny.
Tomorrow
Is going to be wonderful
Tomorrow
Is going to be different.

Courage

When courage becomes your worst enemy you get scared. You're afraid to lose, even though you know you have courage.
It's like walking up a mountain, five feet away from the top and thinking you're not going to make it. You will want to turn around and just jump. But then there is this voice in your head that tells you to rethink, and the feeling in your heart that tells you that you can do it.
All there is to it is to believe and find the courage within. We concentrate on things so unimportant, that the real important issues fade away.
Courage is something you're not going to find on the street like you might find money. You are not going to find it in the closet where you find your best shoes. You're not going to find it like you find a best friend's gift in a store. There is only one way to find courage: in your heart.
Don't be scared. It won't hurt. You just have to go for it and use it. It is the main reason for you to reach the top of the highest mountain. It's the key to the door that locks your goals. Unlock that door!

Imprint

Text: Poetry and illustrations by Ilona Hesse
Publication Date: 06-17-2008

All Rights Reserved