When I see a new book listed in my announcements, I more often than not open it to look at the first page or two--to see if the author has taken the time to spell-check; to see whether he/she can capture my interest with a good, hopefully great, introduction.
Che cha sarang passed admirably on both accounts. I've read ten or so pages. One thing: You seem to have a lot of characters entering into the story early on, and I'm not... Show more
When I see a new book listed in my announcements, I more often than not open it to look at the first page or two--to see if the author has taken the time to spell-check; to see whether he/she can capture my interest with a good, hopefully great, introduction.
Che cha sarang passed admirably on both accounts. I've read ten or so pages. One thing: You seem to have a lot of characters entering into the story early on, and I'm not sure, structure-wise, that it works as effectively as it might...there are ways to switch scenes, introducing new characters, but what I'm seeing is very long paragraphs, and lots of characters that get confusing. At least to me. One thing that might help you is to break paragraphs at dialogue exchanges, instead of having the characters speaking one after the other in a single, long paragraph. White space.
On the VERY plus side, your first scene is engrossing. The circumstances of Nyarai's going to the park bench every day to read the paper to a blind man...Intriguing, to be sure.
I'll have to go onward into the story, but I must confess, I'm confused somewhat by the plethora of characters. I don't like to read scenes/pages twice in order to straighten out in my mind who is whom, and why they are in the story where they are. You as the author know precisely who, what, why, but the reader most times does not.
Again, shortening those paragraphs, and possibly double-double spacing at scene breaks, or new character intros, might make all the difference in the world.
I hope/trust that all this makes sense. I'd be interested to see whether other readers feel the same as I do regarding structure and character introductions.
Thanks for creating the book, and giving me the opportunity to read. I'll finish and comment again:) It heartens me that I've found another author who can write well.
thank you so much for your honest opinion. i will throughly work on the areas you have mentioned.
I hope you have finished reading my book. Please tell me what you think
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