it was like peeling an onion - layer upon layer. Good action and you kept everything flowing properly...a vote and a star...Paula
This was a nice change of pace, as compared to most of the stories i have read of yours(the ones i read were excellent as well). I like how the story flowed. It was like a good millitary action movie, kind of like G.I.JOE, or better yet the BOURNE IDENTITY. The good thing about it is that it still held the htem of protecting your family by any means necessary.
Thank you dholm1! I've taken your advice and made the necessary corrections. Semicolons are like a cigarette to a writer...they look good and they're enjoyable - but they're just wrong!!! :)
God bless and thank you for your advice!
Tyrone
Very exciting. Kept me guessing to the end.
Couple of nits for you:
When you have a dialogue tag like he said or she said, a comma is used before it instead of semicolon. Example
He entered his home and announced, "Honey, I'm home!" (Loved this by the way.)
-- formerly known as Luke-replied, "You had doubts, Sergent Brook?" (Needed a comma before Sergent here as well.)
Thought tags do not need quotes. It chances confusing a... Show more
is reeling! I didn't know what was going to happen next!
Intriguing and absorbing, and very well written! It gets my vote!
Good luck, Tyrone! Petra :))
Thank you for the kind and encouraging words! I enjoyed writing this story and Mr. Black/Luke/Aaron/Michael can be any CIA operative that is keeping our country safe and willing to go through anything to protect their families at home.
Is it fiction or nonfiction? That's classified.
God bless,
Tyrone
...How about that ice-cube weapon? I've never seen that in any movie... :-)
Thanks for reading - I try to diversify any chance that I can and I'm glad that you enjoyed!
God bless,
Tyrone