Sky, I feel like the voice telling your story is very natural and I enjoyed the casual tone. I therefore suggest to be a little less casual with the proofreading if you seek formal publication for this material. For instance, on the first page you use "bother" instead of "brother" and "where" instead of "were". Your story is good, and deserved better, I thought. Thanks for sharing.
Sky, I feel like the voice telling your story is very natural and I enjoyed the casual tone. I therefore suggest to be a little less casual with the proofreading if you seek formal publication for this material. For instance, on the first page you use "bother" instead of "brother" and "where" instead of "were". Your story is good, and deserved better, I thought. Thanks for sharing.
