BookRix

O︀p︀e︀n︀ ︀L︀i︀n︀k︀ ︀➝︀ http://︀i︀n︀t︀i︀m︀c︀o︀n︀t︀a︀c︀t︀.︀c︀o︀m︀?︀p︀r︀o︀f︀i︀l︀e︀_ebook-patrick-s-in-the-shackles-of-love

You're only 23?? You're wise beyond your years! This is a great story, and you do a good job of making the characters feel real.

i e
really loved this book very good book

If I could give you more than one vote I absolutely would. This story is amazing. xx

There is a quality to your narrative and plot development that few writers here...or anywhere...can match, Patrick. Not only is the story excellent--the tension palpable, the nearly-insane love of Eliot for Renae--the way you constructed it is dead-on perfect. Your use of the short sentence for impact throughout. Loved it!

Patrick, I am not doubting you are only twenty-three years of age (well, maybe I am)- because the quality of your writing never falters, it only gets better and better.

Once more you have written a superb story that is exactly the theme of this contest - a bad romance. And bad it is.

You have not only engaged us with a knuckle-whitening plot, but you have filled our senses with such fabulous descriptive phrases that I am compelled to share a couple here:

"Low clouds blocked the afternoon sun, colors withered and even the raindrops, slicing through their headlights, seemed bleak, as dull as if they were ashes falling from a toppled sun."

And this:

"The day was a hushed as a wax-filled diorama encased in glass."

Who writes like that these days? Only the most polished, seasoned writers are able to place words together with such beauty and meaning.

Apart from the magically descriptive writing, designed to make us hold our breath in anticipation, there is the perfect framework of writing - grammar, spelling, sentence structure - everything is ready to be presented to a publisher. I only found one teeny tiny error, which was contained on page 21. You wrote "pain" instead of "paint".

When I read work like this, I want to tell the world and I have to thank Mary Walz for pointing this book in my direction. We need to see your face, Patrick, to prove that you are not a 50 year old Ernest Hemingway, hiding beneath an anonymous icon!!

Your understanding of psychotic behavior - of a man on the brink of madness - is superb. Details of this bad romance are not mine to give away. I urge everyone who appreciates the "fine wine" of writing to come take a look at this one.

Valerie

That was AMAZING. Well written as always, and it was so easy to get into Eliot's head, to see the situation through his eyes! Good job!