BookRix

Hi baptist,

Thanks for your comments. I am glad you enjoyed A Deadly Drive-by.

Linda B

That was a good book! I loved it

Hi! Finally got around to read this, per your invitation after your encouraging praise for 'Weather on Krypton.' Been busy, and I'm a terrible proscratinator.

First: Despite problems there is a gritty freshness here. A genuinely interesting story, which is saying a lot compared to most other writers on BookRix. There is what I call 'over-writing' (a common error for new writers), yet most of the time 'Drive-by' didn't *feel* badly over-written, which surprised me. There are flashes of gorgeous simplicity. You definitely have a budding style if you can fix spelling, punctuation and grammar, and clear out the 'weeds'.

If you'd like, I can analyze in detail a few paragraphs, the good and the bad. But be forewarned: I can be an uncompromising and persnickety s.o.b. when I review!

Stephen King tells us that one of the best ways to learn how to write is to read successful writers. I urge all my fellow starting writers to pick up a copy of Jane Alison's "The Love-Artist" and just read the first few paragraphs. Alison's writing is beautiful and lyrical. It profoundly affected me, and influenced my 'Krypton' prologue. (Stephen King is no slouch, either. I recommend King's "The Green Mile".)

Great story, keep up the great work.

Hi Sally,

Thanks for your comments I will take another look at the story...

Linda

I read your story, made me sad to think about the useless killings of our children. There needs to be a little clean up on your grammar, my story did too. Good luck.

The Story seems so real. Very realist, which may a lot of sense in detail.

Tobias B

Hi poohda.

Thanks for all of your support. I had to add some additional material to the storyline...

Linda B

Hi Dave,

I hope everyone feels as you do about the story and I am glad that it is uncommon where you live. Thanks for taking the time out to read the story and for your comments.

Linda B

Hi Linda
I have just finished your book and I really enoyed it. Your subect was something that must terrify every parent. Drive by shootings are very uncommon here, I hope it stays that way also.
A very emotional read, well done and I look forward to reading your other books

Dave