Last Words

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Last Words
Hello, my name is Lea Cambell, and the funniest thing happened to me on the way home from school today. I died. Problem is, I can’t quite find the light everyone keeps talking about. So, I’m trapped here. Outside my body. Where no one can see or hear my cries for help.

  • Romance
  • 2217 Words
  • Ages 12 and up
  • 603
  • 3
  • Publication Date: 02-03-2013
Posts and Comments
Important Post
Deleted User

What!? What did he see? The story is engaging, but needs a bit of work.

page 7 the first sentence you could put a period after 'it looked' and make 'They were scared stiff.' a short sentence on its own.

'The scene unfolding before me', remove 'the unfolded'.

Tighten the sentences. Pg 8: 'I felt my own heart stutter in my chest' can be written tighter and sounds stronger. 'My heart stuttered in my chest.'

Pg 9 typo: 'more my... Show more

Important Post
Deleted User

I love it tell me when you UPDATE!!!!!!!!! plz update SOON!!!!!!!

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