BookRix

You can hardly tell who's saying what.

what

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Okay. This was okay. But you can't tell who is saying what and what their actions are. You need to be more descriptive and you need to explain who says what. If you need an example look at someone else's books.

EXAMPLE:

"Hey," Timothy said while he caught up with me.

"Oh, hey, Timothy," I replied.

Does that make sense??

-London
xoxoxoxo

becuse i am new plz raed

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