BookRix

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Trail of Tears

You have some beautiful images of the sky and landscape as seen through Snowdrop's eyes. Your 1st pov is lovely and perfect in this story. Intimate and very personal. Beyond the power of the (unfinished?) story, much of your sentence structure in the narrative sings! Single lines as paragraphs; this is nice, nice writing technique. I would "counsel" you to proof read it one more time for any grammatical oopses, and also clear out the few spelling errors.
Nice going with this piece.

Naw! No more?
I liked this! There were a few mistakes, such as typos, misspells and misplaced words. But other than that, this was a fun read! If you just read over it and fix all the little mistakes, added some more description- like the scenery around Snowdrop, appearances ect.- then this'd be greater! I always like good description. A nice picture of everything in my head is always a good thing, in my opinion.
There's more to be added on? Or is this all of it?

I really like your book here :)

I do have one little crit; the story moves WAY fast. I don't quite get a sense of how Snowdrop's feeling, because there's so much going on. Spend a little more time describing her emotions and the setting. That would be my advice.

Anyway, I thought the beginning of your story was wonderful!! Keep writing; you're good! Have a good day.

Great beginning. I just finished up a unit on this in Social Studies class, and it was nice to read. My only suggestion is to break your prologue-type thing into more than one paragraph. It's a lot easier to read. You just earned yourself your first heart!

~H