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A nice short story...So deep...That's exactly what a person in love may feel...Very good!)))

are always simple and sweet.
Loved it Ilona! Petra :))

I enjoyed the simplicity of this tale and though I agree with Cavlaster in that you could expound with more detail, I still enjoyed your effort and voted for you. God Bless.

I see an idea evolving in your mind, but you can add more detail to give it a better feel. Who was this woman he ached to have at his side, a wife or a lover? Having your character looking at his ring can tell the readers it’s his wife. But if you would have him swallow his guilt as he stared at his ring, before looking at a seductive picture of a woman hidden in a book would reveal it was a lover.

Played out a romantic scene he is reliving. Instead of using thumping hearts beating as one, use something like:
I could still smell her perfume on my skin. I can still taste her in my mouth. Remembering her hot breathe against my neck sends me over the edge. My heart swells at the remembrance of her sweet laughter.

Have your readers live through your characters. Add more feeling and more to your story. I gave you a vote for participating, but try to work on it more. Check mine out: http://www.bookrix.com/_title-en-cav-laster-sailing-through-time

Thank you for participating in our short
story writing contest "Travel Stories".

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