BookRix

I am super super super sorry to tell you this but I didnt really like it.

Very creative, I'm impressed

I have to agree with Judy this is a unique story keep it up girl, hope I'll be able to finish this one soon as well :)

What a wonderful beginning of what I believe will be a fabulous, unique story! I can tell you had a lot of fun writing this, and because you've made the characters so real, they're very real to you.

I know this is the beginning, so I'm sure you'll be doing some deep edits later. There are problems with tense, grammar, paragraph formatting and one or two minor spelling errors, but for the most part, this is very well-written. It flows very nicely, and your dialogue is both realistic and enjoyable to read. I like the way you start chapters with a diary entry - it gives the story a cohesion that enables the reader to follow the logical progression of what's going on.

You have an awesome imagination; it looks like you did some research, too, something every good writer engages is in to add realism to fantasy. Bravo! Let me know if you'd like me to give you specific examples of the things that need fixing, or you can go to some of the groups here that deal specifically with that sort of thing (check through the list of groups - there are several that deal with good writing techniques). I really believe this can be an excellent book, one that many readers will absolutely love.

You have talent, my dear. 'D

Thanks, @snowmassgirl ! I'm uploading some more soon :) school is a pain in the butt.

I likey. Can't wait for more!!!