BookRix

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Good story, I like the book, and there is another best book to read is The Perfect Author, you can read it on http://theperfectauthor.in Really mind blowing, worth to read.

Good content if you can get past all of the grammar errors, spelling and use of wrong names.

Fun to read, good concept. Keep up the work and I look forward to another.

its good :)

great book hope to see a sequal about john's adventures!

This book was wonderful. There is a great deal of editing needed, but the story was excellent! I was engrossed from beginning to end. The story line was original, well thought out and had a lot of depth. Once editing for grammer, spelling and redundancy is finish, the book could be a huge success. I will be looking forward to more from this author. The hours spent reading this book were hours well spent!

Hi David,

Unfortunately I cannot provide enough time to read your entire story (still have 25 other 'please read' requests). I will, however, still read bits and pieces and comment soley on that. Therefore, plot will not be appropriately assessed.

At first read, I've noticed some spelling and grammar errors. You have a nice pace and your story opening is interesting. I think your story could do with some tightening, there are words that could be taken out without impacting sentence meaning. E.g.: Pg 10 ...Emma Elizabeth Smith may have considered herself to have been very unlucky that night in Whitechapel... Tightened ...Emma Elizabeth Smith considered herself unlucky that night in Whitechapel...16 words chopped to 10 words but still holding its meaning.

In the opening pages I've noticed repetition with the words 'Just', 'Force', 'now' and 'started'.

The murder is a great hook and you've moved the story along quickly. I'm not sure that Emma's backstory works, being placed right in the middle of your action scene where she's fighting for her life. You've suddenly dragged me out of the story. Placing this back at the beginning where you introduce Emma, might work better (somewhere earlier).

Pg 9: ...The element of surprise was now starting, slowly, to turn in Emma's favour... Is anything occurring 'slowly' in this attack and fight for her life? Also, your story might have more impact if you continued to 'show' what is happening, there are some chunks of exposition and explanation that you can use to further your hold on the reader if shown in scenes rather than detailed (told) with exposition.

However, you have my interest, there's no doubt in that and the suggestions above can be achieved with a good strict edit and the use of a big thesaurus.

Good luck,

Bek :)

Hello everyone

If you have read, or have started to read, my book 'The Samsara Project' and you have/are enjoyed/enjoying it then could you please recommend it to your friends and colleagues as, like everyone who has written a book, I would like as many people as possible to read it and then I hope there will be select readership for the sequel.

Thanks everyone

Best wishes and happy writing

Dave

Hi David,
Although I am in the middle of your great story...very informative, compelling , well written story I can't wait to finish reading. You have my vote and a star. After Your book, I regret asking you to read my little short story in the contest A Deadly Drive-by there is no comparisons to your excellent work...

Linda B