BookRix

Hi Anibani,

I've given your story a read and this is my feedback.

I think your writing in English is quite good. There is some incorrect phrasing but for the most part, impressive.

Pg 6: ...corpse of a foreigner is found... Tense problem. 'Is' should be 'has been'.

Pg 7: I had a problem with your POV. with ...All the Riders felt a cold fist... Up until this point, you've established the POV as Shiva's it seemed to me.

There is some punctuation issues too. Good plot, though. Well done.

Bek :)

Hello an1ban1,
That was a most adventurous transmission! I think that Shiva's Pulsar is a robot and was the true hero.:)
Good luck!
robottina

Maybe even a series of them.

Your knowledge of the 'inner workings' of foreign government/crime/technology, puts you at a great advantage as a writer.

This is very exciting, and kept me going at a 'rapid-reader' pace.

Good luck Aniruddha. Wonderfully entertaining; multi-dimensional story!

Robin

Awesome!!! :)